At the height of my delusion, I would even force myself to moderate by buying a bottle of wine right before the store closed so that I couldn’t go back. Then I would pour half of it down the drain so that I couldn’t drink more than half of a bottle. I knew if it was there, I would have zero say in drinking the rest. I was still 4 years away from sobriety, but I started to entertain the possibility. This stereotype keeps people who are struggling in denial because they don’t “fit that picture,” a picture that is totally inaccurate to begin with.
My relationship with my wife, both emotionally and physically, was absent. I was unable to participate in any kind of family activity, especially if it interfered with my drinking. My family would watch TV in one room and I would be in another drinking to oblivion.
Jean McCarthy: Blogger, Podcaster, Poet & “UnPickled”
When she would catch me getting high, she would be irate and I would promise to abstain, only to use as soon as I dropped her off at her parents’ house. When we were finally married, she gradually accepted my use of marijuana and alcohol as normal, even participating at times. Soon we found couples Top 5 Questions to Ask Yourself When Choosing Sober House who had the same interest. There were many times after getting together with another couple that I drove home in a blackout. I am the third of four sons, each about two years apart. We grew up in a small town in Eastern Massachusetts where, on our mile-long street, we only had a few neighbors.
Up to that point, I was full of regret and trying my hardest to keep that door shut! That was 21 years ago, and I have remained sober and active in Alcoholics Anonymous since the day I left Valley Hope. I began drinking again thinking I had it whipped. I did great for quite some time, it seemed. The disease only progressed slowly, daily deceiving me into thinking I was in control (NOT!). After starting my own Plumbing Business, my daily routine became, work, drink all evening at the desk.
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The biggest surprise was that I’m not always going to be judged by a slip or relapse. Although I’ve made mistakes in the past, I am able to share that experience and strength with others. People can attest to the miracles that places like Valley Hope have to offer.